Harry “Low Carb” Lyon has announced his intentions to for mayor of Pelham.

One item on his platform is to place a yearly $25,000 tax on all fast food restaurants. “This money will be earmarked to provide walking and bicycle trails so the 50 percent fat population of Pelham can begin losing weight,” Lyon’s campaign literature states.

Lyon said all overweight city employees would receive a 10 percent salary reduction and must come within the American Medical Association?s weight guidelines within one year or face termination.

“The fat people of Pelham need to shape up or ship out. Let’s face it, the fact is that fat people are ugly and disgusting to look at as much as is traffic congestion and wasteful spending by our city government.” he wrote.

I was hoping for someone who wasn’t an idiot to run for mayor.

Richard LeFevre
Henderson, NV
Age: 58
Weight: 135

- Chili: 1 1/2 gallon Stagg Chili / 10 minutes
- Corn Dogs: 12 corny dogs / 10 minutes
- SPAM: 6 pounds of SPAM from the can / 12 minutes

You’ve seen the Japanese guy eat all those hotdogs on ESPN, but have you seen Richard eat Spam?

LeFevre’s wife, Carlene, is also an accomplished competitive eater. They call their home in Henderson, The Pink Palace.

Rankings of the top eaters on the circuit worldwide

The Administration works closely with a network of “rapid response” digital Brown Shirts who work to pressure reporters and their editors for “undermining support for our troops.”
- Al Gore

Brown Shirts? That was the term for the Sturmabteilung, who originally functioned as a group of bodyguards to enforce order at Nazi gatherings. That was a very good and accurate comparison.

Via Honzo

Steve “Mr. President” Bridges meets President Bush.

This guy does an excellent GWB impersonation. He’s been everything from the Tonight Show to Fox News. I haven’t seen him on anything yet. I think he makes money by doing this at dinners and corporate meetings.

Bridges on his visit with the President: �He remarked how odd it was to see someone who looks and acts like him. In fact, I think he said it was downright weird.�

�The President said he really appreciated the tone of my material, how it was all in fun and something he�d feel comfortable having his daughters hear.�

Great video clips >

European companies are finding ingenious ways to disguise ugly, but necessary, mobile phone antenna masts. Customers can pick everything from trees to crucifixes.

Those willing to set up mobile phone antenna masts on their property can get good money for their cooperation — along with grief from their neighbors.

You’ve probably noticed cell towers disguised as trees. Did a little looking around concerning this.

Alan Dick’s company offers:
- Conifer
- Dead Tree (struck by lightning look)
- Palm Tree
- Scots Pine

Cellular One put up a 100 ft. tree tower on Mount Verson (GWash’s homestead)

Church Cross, Redwood City, CA

Wish I had thought about this in college.

Couple of different sites with pranks…

Covering entire office in foil

Cubicle foiled

An entire apartment

I love the “Chin Curtain.” I think I know someone who likes that style.

It’s too bad I missed this festival (April ‘04). Valentine (above) is the International Ventriloquist’s Association president.

Jay Johnson writes, “It is not surprising that Valentine Vox who defined the art of ventriloquism in his book “I Can See Your Lips Moving” would come up with the definitive “how to be a ventriloquist” CD. I give it two wooden thumbs up.”

I’d break your two wooden thumbs off.

http://www.inquista.com

Simply a dream come true. Walmart and other retailers are offering the WB Superstar USA for sale.

2nd best song - Mario’s performing Aerosmith’s Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
Best song - JoJo’s performing Beyonce’s Crazy In Love

Sample the songs…

Unfortunately, Mario (above) finished 2nd. He still finished with $10K.

In Mario’s last performance, he sang Aerosmith’s “I Dont Want To Miss A Thing” song and danced around at the same time. After his song, the host leads Mario into saying that he feels sexy by gushing about his sex appeal.

Mario and the eventual winner performed a duet “I’ve Had The Time of My Life” to end the competition. Mario finished his part by sliding down on his knees on the stage.

You can catch the re-airing of WB Superstar this Sunday (6/20) at 5pm CST.