A man sentenced to 90 years in prison for attempting to set his Orlando home on fire with his family sleeping inside said God commanded him to sacrifice his wife and children, according to a Local 6 News report.

Hans Missal, 51, admitted to dousing his Orlando home with gasoline last March. Missal also duct-taped the doors shut and ran a hose from the house to a car tailpipe while his wife, son and daughter slept before he attempted to set the structure on fire.

Tuesday, Missal said he was following God’s orders.

Missal compared himself to the Bible’s Abraham, who was commanded by God to sacrifice his own son, and said he received a message from God to kill his entire family, Local 6 News reported.

“God had a plan for my family, I had no idea what that plan was,” Missal said. “I trusted God and God was faithful to the end.”

Missal said God stopped the sacrifice by waking up the family before he set the house on fire.

“I know that God was putting me through a test,” Missal said. “He said, ‘Do you love your family?’ And absolutely, I love them more than anything in this world.”

“Missal understands why people may think he is mentally ill,” Local 6 reporter Mike DeForest said. “But he said it was all God’s plan for him to serve the next 90 years in prison.”

According to Orange County Sheriff’s Office reports, Missal’s wife, Brenda, and son woke up on the morning of March 7, 2005, smelling gasoline and finding overturned gasoline containers on the floor of their Orangebrook Drive home.

The son, Jason, found his father naked on the back porch with more gas containers next to him. Hans Missal told his son and wife “that he planned on burning down the house,” the police report states.

He also said it was God’s plan for his wife and children to endure such mental anguish.

“I know too many children who have easy lives and they suffer for that,” Missal said.

“So, this was to make your kid stronger?” DeForest said.

“It was not to make my kid stronger, but they will be stronger because of it,” Missal said.

Missal is leading a Bible study group at jail.

He will soon be transported to state prison, where he plans to spend time praying.

Local6 / Orlando Sentinel

Kareem seen at the Lakers/Suns playoff game sporting a Segal-like jacket.

DUNEDIN, FL – Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies arrested a man who fired a round at his son’s computer after an argument in Dunedin Monday afternoon. Joseph Francis Langenderfer, 44 has been charged with attempted murder and is in Pinellas County Jail.

According to deputies, Langenderfer had an argument with his son Tim about spending too much time over computer games. He then armed himself with a .22 caliber gun, and fired a round at his son’s computer monitor, striking a wall three feet from where his son was sitting.

Deputies responded to the call and spoke to the son who told them he was not injured. The son also told deputies that his father was in a wheel chair but was able to walk. The deputies asked Langenderfer to exit the house and then arrested him.

Langenderfer told deputies that he asked his son to do the laundry and the son argued with him. The father said he then went into the kitchen and that’s when the son threw something at him.

Langenderfer told deputies he went into his room and picked up gun and went into his son’s room threatening to shoot at the monitor if he didn’t stop playing the game. Langenderfer told the deputies that the gun went off suddenly and the bullet hit the wall.

Another person was in the house at that time and was not injured.

TBO.com

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Courtesy of the Universal Life Church. Only $7.95.

Or you can get this one that hangs from your rearview mirror. It even comes with a barcode on it which is pointless. Also available is a Press Pass, “Minister” black t-shirt, and a Jedi Knight Certificate.

David speaks to the Charlotte, NC City Council back in 2002. If you have never watched this all the way thru, your life isn’t complete.

Parishioners fed up with a string of burglaries at their West Palm Beach church took matters into their own hands by capturing and hog-tying a man who climbed in through a window early this morning.

Armed with baseball bats, members of the Church of Nazarene at 5312 Broadway spent the night in the building to guard it.

At about 1 in the morning of March 24, 2006, a man broke in. Church members were waiting for him inside. They beat him with their bats and tied him up with tape.

Police identified the burglary suspect as Ralph Thomas. Thomas was treated at a local hospital and charged with burglary and possession of burglary tools. An accomplice got away, police said.

Story with video

Here’s a few of the top 40 from nostalgiacentral.com:

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it’s called Stallone’s Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Complete list…

Do you remember seeing the video of the DEA agent who stars in a popular online video that shows him shooting himself in the foot during a weapons demonstration for Florida children is suing over the tape’s release, claiming that his career has been crippled and he’s become a laughingstock due to the embarrassing clip’s distribution. Lee Paige, 45, blames the video’s release on DEA officials in an April 7 federal lawsuit filed against the U.S. government.

As a result of the clip being distributed on the Internet and TV, the agent has been the “target of jokes, derision, ridicule, and disparaging comments” directed at him in restaurants, grocery stores, and airports.

Paige, who writes that he was “once regarded as one of the best undercover agents, if not the best, in the DEA,” points to the clip’s recent airing on popular television shows and via the Internet as the reason he can no longer work undercover.

He also notes that he is no longer “permitted or able to give educational motivational speeches and presentations.”

More details from Smoking Gun.

Some genius had the idea to substitute real eggs for cadbury eggs while making a cake. He thought it would be awesome.

Ingredients

Cracking the egg.

Egg shells ready to be thrown out.

Cadbury Creme Egg Chocolate Cake. It reportedly had structural issues. Really?

See more pics here. The creator said it tasted like Novocaine.

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