Holding a Guinness record for its size, this crossword hangs on a full 7′ by 7′ of wall space and has 28,000 clues for over 91,000 squares. It’s a challenge that can take months, even up to a year, to complete. Nothing says ‘I am a big dork with no life’ than hanging this on your wall and actually working on it. The upside to this is you are guaranteed to never get alzheimer’s.

$29.95

Are you ready to fork over $229 so you too can be the talk of the tailgate party while hanging with your NASCAR buddies? Imagine the faces of your pre-game buddies when they see you kicking back in this! Chairs are made of super-strong 600 denier polyester and come in red, blue or green. Each chair has a weight limit of 250 lbs.
$229.99

The poshAir sleeping bag is a breakthrough in inflight comfort. This luxurious cocoon, that’s easy to slip on and off, zips you into an extra layer of lightweight warmth. High probability that if you put this on during a flight with me, I’d assault you with my copy of SkyMall.
$99.99

I saw an ad on tv the other day for this. It looked like a joke and they claimed they compared 2 identical cars parked next to each other. The inside temp on the car without the ventilator was 109 or so, the one with it was 75 degrees. I didn’t quite believe it so the Festville Investigators checked it out for its readers and here’s what we found…

Their website claims:
“AutoVent SPV silently and efficiently eliminates stale, stuffy air from inside your vehicle, even on the hottest summer days! While your window remain securely closed, this unique solar powered ventilator draws hot air and odors , including pet and tobacco odors, out of your vehicle and replaces it with fresh air form outside. Since AutoVent SPV runs directly on natural, FREE solar energy, there is no drain on your vehicle’s battery and there are no batteries to replace or recharge…Ever!”

Watch the short ad here.

So how did the reviews on Amazon turn out?
- “The fan does not spin fast enough to circulate air through the car.” S. Rice, AZ
- “For those of us who live in the real world, and occasionally are forced to leave our pets in the car, these ventilators do help. I use two, and keep the opposite window open a bit too. Might be a worry about theft, but with 2 big dogs in the car, not a big deal for me. What a pain, and you have to switch windows to follow the sun, anyway… Now I will be trying 3 in my window at one time. Wwwe could take our dogs wherever we go. They certainly are better behaved than most people’s kids.”

(Festville Note: I think this reviewer is an idiot. The real world doesn’t lug their dogs around in their car all the time. This person is going to be driving around with 3 or 4 of these in their window just to maximize dog time in the car.)

- “This thing was a huge piece of junk. The only way I was ever to get it to spin, was to stand outside the car and hold it in my hands.”
- “Once you’ve cut the liner to size, you’ve committed the unit to being installed on one side of the car and you have to park the car with that side towards the sun, this thing being solar powered and all.”

$40 value for just $14.99 plus a $30 cup holder caddy for FREE! S&H is a low $7.95.

Verdict: No surprise here…2 thumbs down.

Just barely over 100 miles from the hustle-bustle and crowds of Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, Dollywood and other attractions, The Fields Of The Wood Bible Park is home to Ten Commandments Mountain in Murphy, NC. The commandments are displayed in four feet wide by 5 feet high concrete letters/numerals on the entire slope of the mountain.

Also, atop Ten Commandments Mountain is “what is believed as being the world’s largest New Testament”, a thirty foot high, fifty foot wide Bible with a 50 person overlook atop of it, which you climb up to using stairs within the structure.
(Note: This is a bit misleading and the “world’s largest New Testament” is really a concrete building with four verses from Matthew 22 on the front. Inside shot of the bible.)

Voted The 2003 NUMBER ONE FAMILY ATTRACTION IN THE ENTIRE SMOKIES by www.DiscoverTheSmokies.com.
(Note: Before we get to far into the tour of the #1 rated attraction, it should be noted though that Steve Nichols owns the bible park and DiscoverTheSmokies.com. And in case your wondering why didn’t they get the award after 2003? I don’t think the website has been updated since then.)

With the current conflict in the Middle East, you can just take your Holy Land trip up to North Carolina. Pack a lunch and eat at the picnic area across from Golgatha.

“Christ’s burial was in a borrowed tomb, similar in size and shape to the one here.” A look inside the tomb (I wasn’t aware of a gate in the tomb where Jesus was buried). And you can look down inside the tomb where you’ll what appears to be a shrouded body. (Take note of the flowers that have been dropped and the leaves that came in on their own free will)

You can even get baptized at the Baptisimal Pool which sits below 10 Commandments Mountain.

Going to stay overnight? Well there’s the Log Heaven Log Home a short distance away. If you must, take your work with you if necessary to LOG HEAVEN. Notice the staged photo. Keyboard, speakers, monitor…nothing is plugged in. Hand rest upon the keyboard as if ready to type away.

Many more things to see at the park including All Nations Cross Bethlehem Star.

See it all at: http://www.fieldsofthewoodbiblepark.com

From Mark Twain’s book “Roughing It”…

The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James’s translation of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel — half modern glibness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too modern — which was about every sentence or two — he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as “exceeding sore,” “and it came to pass,” etc., and made things satisfactory again. “And it came to pass” was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet.

And his commentary gets better in regards to the TESTIMONY OF EIGHT WITNESSES:

Book of Mormom: Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom this work shall come, that Joseph Smith, Jr., the translator of this work, has shown unto us the plates of which hath been spoken, which have the appearance of gold; and as many of the leaves as the said Smith has translated, we did handle with our hands; and we also saw the engravings thereon, all of which has the appearance of ancient work, and of curious workmanship. And this we bear record with words of soberness, that the said Smith has shown unto us, for we have seen and hefted, and know of a surety that the said Smith has got the plates of which we have spoken. And we give our names unto the world, to witness unto the world that which we have seen; and we lie not, God bearing witness of it.
CHRISTIAN WHITMER,
JACOB WHITMER,
PETER WHITMER, JR.,
JOHN WHITMER,
HIRAM PAGE,
JOSEPH SMITH, SR.,
HYRUM SMITH,
SAMUEL H. SMITH.

Twain writes:
“And when I am far on the road to conviction, and eight men, be they grammatical or otherwise, come forward and tell me that they have seen the plates too; and not only seen those plates but “hefted” them, I am convinced. I could not feel more satisfied and at rest if the entire Whitmer family had testified.”

http://www.helpingmormons.org/twain.htm

An Isabella County jury on Friday acquitted a Kalkaska man of making three people ill after shaking their hands in December. Jurors deliberated for about two and a half hours before finding John Curtis Ridgeway, 42, not guilty of police officer assault/resisting and obstructing and two counts of assault/obstruction of a public officer.

Earlier in the day, Ridgeway continued his testimony that he used an oil to anoint “corrupt buildings.”

Isabella County Assistant Prosecutor Amanda Swanson, Saginaw Chippewa Tribal Police Sgt. Jerry Smith and bailiff Hector Latorre had inexplicably become ill after shaking hands with Ridgeway following a brief trial involving Ridgeway on Dec. 21, 2005.

During questioning by Shirley, Ridgeway explained that the oil he used to anoint corrupt buildings was meant to rid the buildings of demons.

On the witness stand for about 45 minutes, Ridgeway admitted to “not necessarily” telling the truth to Mt. Pleasant Police Detective Paul Lauria following his arrest Dec. 22, 2005, about ever anointing people with the oil, which was blessed by a radio minister in Colorado.

Ridgeway told Lauria he had never anointed a person, but wrote in an e-mail to Pastor Pete Peters, who runs Scriptures for America, that he anointed two attorneys at the Kalkaska County Courthouse prior to the Dec. 21 trial in Isabella County.

Ridgeway also wrote in the e-mail that he would continue to anoint courthouses and other buildings to rid them of evil but “will move with more stealth and avoid the snares of the enemy.”

Ridgeway’s e-mail was a response to an item in “Dragon Slayer,” a newsletter published by Scriptures for America, in which Peters chastised Ridgeway for being open about his mission as one of “Gideon’s Guerillas.”

Peters rebuked Ridgeway for not following “the rules of silence,” Kushion said.

Kushion also asked why Ridgeway would anoint attorneys at the Kalkaska County Courthouse when the purpose of the oil is to rid buildings of demons, and asked Ridgeway if he believed the attorneys were “tares,” or in Biblical terms, “children of the wicked one.”

“I would say maybe not all of them,” Ridgeway responded.

Kushion also asked Ridgeway about an e-mail to Peters in which the two men suggested that Swanson, Smith and Latorre became ill after shaking his hand because they are demons.

Ridgeway said he would not agree with that depiction, but said it is possible the three were possessed by demons.
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Former Cowboys and Dolphins coach and current NFL Fox Sports TV analyst Jimmy Johnson, appearantly has some pool party photos on a webshots page. This one was my favorite.

Johnson’s hair is often a source of humor: heavily starched in a perfect wave, it has been called “helmet hair” for staying in place through wind and weather. His players often took delight in tousing it after victories. He is sometimes humorously known as the only coach to wear a helmet both on the sidelines and off. However, Johnson has been sporting a looser, spikier hairstyle of late.

SELMER, Tennessee (AP) — A woman accused of shooting her preacher husband to death after they argued over money may have been taken in by a remarkably common scam that strained their finances and their marriage.

Mary Winkler, who is charged with murder, had gotten tangled up along with her husband in a swindle known as an advance-fee fraud, or the “Nigerian scam.”

Scam victims are told that riches are waiting for them if they send in money to cover the processing expenses, Winkler’s lawyers say.

“They were always kind of living on the edge of their budget,” defense attorney Steve Farese said, “so I’m sure this would have just wrecked their budget.”

Advance-fee scams became associated with Nigeria in the 1980s when government corruption and a failing economy left many well-educated, English-speaking Nigerians unemployed. “But we see it from all over the world,” said John Kane, research manager for the National White Collar Crime Center.

“Everything is just fine, but then four or five days later, your bank calls and says that check you deposited was bogus,” Kane said.

In Mary Winkler’s case, she deposited several checks from Canada and Nigeria for a total of $17,500, authorities said.

“All I know is they entered sweepstakes,” Farese said. “They got these checks in the mail, and they made calls to activate them.”

I just wish they had found out about 419 Eater.com sooner. Or better yet been reading Festville back in June 2004.

A 16-year-old girl has survived a direct lightning strike. The gold cross pendant on a chain melted and evaporated from the girl’s neck.

Marina Motygina from Ekaterinburg in Russia’s Urals went bathing with her friend Anya. She had just got out of water when a thunderstorm broke out, the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reports.

“Anya was bathing, and I was sitting under a tree,” Marina says.

“When it started to rain and thunder struck, I ran to get our things from the meadow. Probably then the lightning struck. I remember falling down and saying, ’I’m unwell.’ Then everything went dark.”

The lightning struck Marina in the temple, went down through the body and left it near the navel. The gold cross and chain she had been wearing, a Christian symbol, melted and evaporated, leaving deep burns on her neck and chest.

Marina came to her senses an hour later. Doctors say her survival is a miracle. At first she could not feel her legs, but the doctors said it was just stress, and indeed the next day Marina was already on her feet.

She is still in the hospital, because the deep burns on her neck need constant attendance. The marks will remain on Marina’s neck forever.

“Marina is fine, even her heart is working perfectly well, though usually when a person is struck by lightning, the heart stops immediately. It’s a really unique case. There are only a few people who survived a lightning strike, and most of them develop telepathic or psychic abilities,” says her doctor.

However for now, Marina feels no supernatural abilities. The pain has weakened, and in two weeks she is leaving the hospital.

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